'I Lost Almost £1 Million to My Gambling Addiction'
Her Turn "Rob acts as though I purposely gambled away our life savings just to hurt him and our kids," said Janet, 50, who has been married for 32 years and is the mother of a son, David, 22, and a daughter, Becky, 20.
I love my family with all my heart!
I'd give anything to be free of this irresistible urge to play the slots.
But all Rob does is belittle me and say things like 'Why didn't you just stop?
I promised him I'd never gamble again but in no time I was right back at my favorite machine, 15 minutes from our home in Nebraska.
Whenever I used credit cards to borrow money to gamble with, I'd get preapproved offers with higher and higher lines of credit.
I signed up for all of them.
I was planning to go to the casino that very night — and would have, if Rob hadn't called me at work to say he knew everything.
And now that Rob and the kids have withdrawn their love, my need for a gambling high is greater than ever.
When I'm not lost in the fantasyland of jackpots that might be won, all I can think is that I should drive my car off a bridge.
At the first meeting, one guy started rhapsodizing about hitting the 777s; the point was to let us in on the moment when he knew he had to quit.
But I got an incredible rush.
After leaving the meeting, I drove straight across the bridge from Nebraska to Iowa, where casinos are legal.
I went back the next day and promptly lost all of it and then some.
The day after that, I took a cash advance on one of my 'little saviors,' my credit free scratch tickets real money />Like always, I told myself I'd use the money to win everything back.
Wouldn't you know, Rob picked that day to go to the bank to deposit his monthly pension check — he's retired from the military — as well as some money from just click for source part-time job as a chef.
That and the fact that the kids are away at college.
I'd leave my job as a school secretary at 3 p.
On days he didn't work, I'd say I was shopping.
My absence didn't bother him.
Ever since he retired and moved near his family, he's been content to watch TV or visit his parents or brother and sister-in-law.
I don't go with him because his family and I have nothing in common.
They've spent their whole lives in Nebraska and I've been all over the world.
I lived near the Navy base where he was stationed and one night when I was 17, a girlfriend and I went to one of the Navy dances.
I thought I'd pass out when this handsome guy in uniform asked me to dance.
Soon we were dating.
When he got his orders less than a year later to go to Hawaii, he asked me to marry him and come with him.
Over the years we were stationed in all sorts of fascinating places.
David was born in Guam and Becky in the Philippines.
I'm a thrill-seeker and a gypsy at heart, so I thrived on packing up and moving to each different place.
My secretarial skills meant I could always land a job, and I loved meeting free scratch tickets real money people.
Suddenly I was also coping with an empty nest.
I had no kids to take care of, a husband hooked on ESPN, neighboring free scratch tickets real money I didn't like, and the first symptoms of menopause.
I felt bored, old, and worried that my good years were behind me.
Rob suggested I get a hobby, and I did: I started going to the casino with friends.
At first I was a social gambler like them.
But before long I was going alone so I could spend as much as I wanted with nobody watching.
I'd find one slot machine and stick with it all night long.
I played a game with myself, trying to figure out when it was set to pay off.
If I won, I'd tell myself I knew what I was doing.
He didn't even know about the extra credit-card debt.
I was terrified to face him, so I stayed at a girlfriend's for three nights.
By then my kids had flown home because they were so worried about me.
I free scratch tickets real money even describe the shame and hopelessness I felt when I finally faced my family.
I'd give anything to get myself under control and have his love and trust again.
Janet is beautiful and funny and great company.
I have so many wonderful memories of our years together.
I can't let this crisis break up our family.
This time she got us in an even-deeper hole — six figures' worth.
She not only took money out of our account behind my back, but she cashed in our children's CDs without telling them.
That's about as low as you can get.
She betrayed my trust twice.
I don't see how things can ever be the same between us.
She dashed all our dreams for the future, dreams I'd worked toward all my life.
We both loved Hawaii when I was stationed there and hoped to move there someday.
She carries on about how she dislikes Nebraska and having my family around, but the plan was never to stay here forever.
It was a stopover, a way to reconnect with my family after living all all british no deposit for so long.
I thought it would be nice for David and Becky to have a few Christmases and Easters with their grandparents.
I'm not sure Janet understands that.
Her parents are divorced and she keeps in touch with her family mostly by e-mail.
I guess I should be grateful we're not completely destitute.
I have a good pension and make decent money at my part-time job.
But we'll never get back to the financial comfort we enjoyed in her pre-casino days.
What breaks my heart is that we started out with nothing and worked hard for every penny we put away.
Both of us come from modest backgrounds and we did pretty well, considering.
Now, except for the house, we have absolutely nothing to show for it.
Maybe I could get rid of some of my resentment if that mystery could simply be explained to me.
As it is, I get upset just looking at her.
We live in the same house, but there's nothing between us anymore.
The kids are upset, too.
I mean, what kind of mother effectively steals from her own children?
When I contemplate the woman I married, the woman I loved so much for so many years, I'm totally baffled.
Another was the departure free scratch tickets real money her kids for college.
And a third was the beginning of menopause and thus the end of her reproductive years.
Compulsive gambling, also known as countries world all codes gambling, is defined as an impulse control disorder in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual free scratch tickets real money Mental Disorders.
And for the first time, women are afflicted as often as men, a trend that began in the '70s, when women joined the workforce and established their own lines of credit and some economic independence.
Here in Nebraska we grapple constantly with the problem because of our proximity to legal casinos right across the Missouri River in Iowa.
What's more, she relied on her husband to pay her debts.
And unless a gambler simultaneously gets appropriate help, a well-meaning spouse who bails out a gambler becomes an 'enabler,' allowing the gambler to start again with a clean slate.
I recommend such groups as a supplement to counseling, but they don't work for everyone, and they didn't for Janet.
My colleagues and I use a different approach.
We teach gamblers to recognize their personal triggers and to learn to resist the urge.
For Janet the triggers were anger at her in-laws, for instanceboredom, and a sense of uselessness.
With Rob's support, she mastered the techniques I gave her for controlling her triggers.
So now I mentally toss out an anchor.
Mine is that I don't want to destroy my precious husband and children, or myself, by succumbing to the urge to gamble.
I never again want to feel like I should drive my car off a bridge.
But losing those hard-earned savings left him deeply resentful.
To his credit, he was eager to get rid of his negative feelings and move on.
To that end, I helped Rob understand that Janet missed the excitement of their travels and that she had felt lonely and bored while he watched TV or visited his family.
After hearing this, Rob made every effort to spend time with Janet read more pleasurable activities.
They took up golf, which they both now enjoy, and joined a square dance club.
This new companionship with her husband went a long way toward helping Janet control her urge to gamble.
To me, all that relocating was exhausting and disorienting.
I couldn't wait to have a more predictable, peaceful life.
But she's happier now that we're doing more things together.
She's also become more willing to socialize with my family.
They not only enjoy my stories of all of our travels, but they have interesting stories of their own.
They run a bed-and-breakfast so they've met lots of fascinating people.
She cut up all of her credit cards and I got her off the mailing lists for preapproved cards.
Some gamblers hate being placed in this childlike role, but Rob helped Janet avoid that reaction by praising her for her strength in following the new plan.
She is in recovery.
She can't gamble at all, any more than an alcoholic can have one drink.
She still comes for counseling once a month and has continued to resist temptation — not an easy feat when it lies a mere 15 minutes away.
She was nervous about putting herself in the capital of gambling, but she enjoyed the celebration without even going near the slot machines.
I don't hold what happened against Janet anymore, and I like knowing I'm able to help her resist her triggers.
If she gets angry, I say, "Toss out an anchor.
Once it's gone, they plan to build up their savings again.
They have also paid back their children, both of whom have forgiven their mother.
I almost lost everything, but I got a second chance.
And for that I am eternally grateful.
Dave is conservative; Lani is free-spirited.
Where Dave feels comfortable, Lani feels tethered.
With the added stress of health problems and infertility, this couple was games lyoko online all code their breaking point.
Can this marriage be saved?
Sue is devastated that Carl is having free scratch tickets real money affair with his high school girlfriend, whom he found on Facebook.
Carl is sorry for being unfaithful and wants to work it out with Sue.
Can this marriage be saved?
When Trevor's sister suddenly died, he and his partner Alison were charged with the care of her 4-year-old son.
Devastated, Trevor retreated into himself, leaving Alison to handle motherhood alone.
Can this relationship be saved?
Ellie feels that Kevin puts his child's needs before hers; he says that his wife is too demanding.
What happens when a husband is torn between two loves?
Can this marriage be saved?
After going bankrupt, Ryan and Carrie needed each other more than ever, but they were too angry and overwhelmed to realize it.
Can this marriage be saved?
Kathy is disgusted by Brad's addiction to porn and cybersex, and doesn't know if she will ever trust him again.
Brad feels ashamed and isn't sure if he can change.
Can this marriage be saved?
Gambling all my money away
David Milch, the storied mind also behind 'Deadwood,' changed television. Now, according to a lawsuit, the racetrack regular has lost his homes, owes the IRS $17 million and is on a $40-a-week.
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